listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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