Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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