Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
