So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
This beer is not sobering me up at all
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
