I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
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