Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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