Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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