Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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