Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
