Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
