i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
