U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
