Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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