its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Randomize
