I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
