is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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