Actions speak louder than pants.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
