why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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