everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
