i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
