Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
