Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm both gender and math confused
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize