god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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