You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
