Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
