im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize