and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
