Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
