New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
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Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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