he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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