hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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