Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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