Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
