nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
