I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I skipped work to stalk him.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I had to cum in my sink.
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