I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize