we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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