I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
