Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
