I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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