I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
