I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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