Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just high enough for therapy.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
