addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
