How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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