Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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