so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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