Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
