I cockslap morals
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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