singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
