Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
