I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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