Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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