I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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