He is like the real live version of the state fair..
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
