I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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