its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
