allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
