Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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